writer's block

you crossed my mind
by crossing me out.

misc

5 more hours
drunken mental imagery
struggling to get sober
just to see the top
with you in sight
there is no more time
got no choice but climb
.
.
.
you were my shadow
try to look cool
don't want you to see me fall
fuck migraine
fall short on hilarity
i keep quiet
just a station more
.
.
.
solitary tree uphill
smiles outweigh the sunshine
you were the sky
i'm floating around you
i don't want to go down
don't want to see you fall
let me chase you
.
.
.
grab a bite
Orion says hello
we'll fill up our slams
you can throw harder
how can i see the shooting star
when all i see is you
i regret my sitting through
.
.
.
drowning in teal blue
didn't mean to damage you
don't feel sorry when i smile
everything is worth the while
summit never felt so high
there is no certain future
i won't ever say goodbye
.
.
.

shuteye

Takes three listens to wholly understand; and when you do, it will break you

lines

should we trick ourselves into believing what we say to our minds?

will it work the same way to our hearts?

that borderline separating our hearts and minds;

up to what certain degree should it blur?

until then, will it feel like we're feeling?

the closer we look, the more we miss out on the details.

the harder we think it through, the less relevant our thoughts become.

should they let us down, shall we rise?

or just keep ourselves down 

to remind us of the ground? 

Ca

I wish.

It's been almost a month since I last wrote here. It's not that I am tired of it, I just have not had the time. And it's not that I have plenty of time now that I've come back, I simply just don't get tired of it. 

The reason I'm here is that I've something to talk about. That relationships are complicated. Case in point, the worldwide number of couples deciding against being 'official', went up 20% for the past 5 years. Now I digress.

Let’s say you got this “milk” and you've got it for quite some time now. You treat this milk of utmost importance to you (as it is to your health). But, something happened (as an example, your milk curdled) to that milk that if you drink it, you might get hurt, or feel sick, in "milk" terms. 

Impulsively, the first thing that comes out your mind is that you should throw it away because there’s not a use in it than being a mere occupant to your fridge. Then eventually, you will just have to move on with either a new milk, and/or have yourself a milk-less chapter in your life (it’s much more likely to happen), making way for a new chapter, maybe, a "coffee" chapter. If you'll think about it, you could have avoided getting your last milk to curdle if you finished it. But you didn't, because you stopped craving for it.

Now as we think deeper, we have all got to admit that the benefits of milk are hard to leave behind. Think of all the vitamins and minerals you are going to start to miss out. You might say that you take in milk through eggs or cheese, but you'll realize that hey, it's not really the same.

In all seriousness, the single thought of a milk-less life is kinda scary. It really is, which is why something inside you is going to tell you to keep having milk. 

Then once you start again, as you grow old, your intake diminishes until you stop again. Then soon you start again. All ebb-and-flow. Now think of milk as someone. Does it fit?

Now what we really need, is consistency.

these days are dark

because my sunshine has been taken away.

i'm going to miss you, grammy. i love you so.

The things we do

We tell deep truths and tiny white lies.

We astound ourselves as we prove others wrong.

We sing out our songs.

We bellow our prose.

We mark and erase from what has been marked and erased.

We remember.

We promise.

We never forget.

We get bored.

Distracted.

Enamored.

Excited.

Burnt out.

Get bored.

Forget.

We elude, we display.

We hide in plain sight.

We run to and fro.

We wander.

We dance, often stumble;

we often stay still just to watch everything fly by as we try to deal with the head rush of it all.

It can dread or buzz with an overload of senses.

In times we break things,

just to appease with the scattering.

In times we stand above shattered pieces,

just to witness the beautiful peculiarity

of light hitting the broken edges.

In times we cut ourselves during repair,

bruise trying to keep it together,

and scar trying to remember why it's important to do so.

In all times, we try.

We try. 

Or fail.

Or worse, we succeed.

Often at the wrong things. 

Often at our own plans.

We do because and in spite of ourselves.

We surrender on what should be

and give up on what is inevitable,

as it becomes an 'almost',

and 'almost' becomes a 'shouldn't have'.

As long as there is love,

as long as there is hope,

every single undying flame of determination,

every solitary flashback of a moment that made nothing else matter,

every victory big or small,

every bruise and scar,

and every broken edge---

the light shall find it,

and each time it catches your eye,

we shall be shown a reason for us to keep trying.