confessions [reckless, safe, strange.]

I feel safe. I always aim to be cool, personable, and respectable in that manner. That being said, I live in a world that is rather adult oriented.

I’m a teenager. And sometimes, I feel a bit feisty. Reckless. There's this mix of being young and rough. Sometimes, I wanna go out after school and kill time until I can’t keep my eyes open. Sometimes, I feel like wearing jeans with holes that I put there. I wanna scuff the fronts of my little old combat boots against the ground as I walk with a smirk of powerful, slightly careless angst. I have always preferred listening to Rock N Roll a little too loudly.

Going back, I’m safe. Instead of wanting to do something destructive, whether to myself, my reputation, school, friends, I usually crave a percussion-heavy song. Maybe dangerous for my eardrums, but as a whole, safe.

Today, with my skate shoes clad feet folded under me, I was, oddly, craving “Raise Your Glass” by Pink. Don’t ask me why or where I heard it. No idea, but the ear wants what the ear wants.

Afterwards, my ears moved on to wanting a blind indulgence in “Walk Idiot Walk” by the Hives, “Bullet Soul” by Switchfoot, “Highway To Hell” by ACDC and the first 30 seconds of an array of songs from my iPod’s “Rock” genre. From a song with incessant growling like "Tilting The Hourglass” by Alesana to an old grungy “I Love You Love Me Love” by Joan Jett and those glorious Blackhearts, to an array of Rush, The Who, Green Day, and then some.

Even my recklessness is safe. Even my “indulgence” is strategic. And even my insanity holds onto a thread of wisdom. I just like to avoid regret. “People Are Strange”. It’s by the Doors.