last resort

[dear readers, this might get out of line since this is intended to be a music blog, but what is a blog for when you can't say anything you want to say because of the parameters you set? yeahh. here goes nothing!]

This is about us and everyone's disease: overthinking. As an accepted rule, thinking is a good thing and while some people don't do it enough, some tend to overthink everything.

Some people think themselves too much of frustration, stagnation, illness, anxiety and then some. Some people have an aptitude for making the simple complex, easy hard, minor issue a major drama and the painless painful. They are adept at snatching loss from the jaws of victory and wasting their time and talent through age-old art of over-analysing everything and everyone; analysis paralysis. They are experts at misinterpreting what people are saying and if there is a way to have their feelings hurt, they’ll find it, and even go looking for it. Not only do they have a history of almost doing things but more often than not they are obsessive, compulsive with perfectionistic tendencies. They worry too much. About nearly everything. Some tend to become people-pleasers who want change (different) but the change process scares them. They don’t need other people to sabotage their dreams or goals, they can do that all by themselves. They are highly skilled in the art of self-sabotage and if anyone will get in their way, it’s them. These are the qualities of the typical overthinker.

If you happened to qualify to some (if not all) of the qualities listed above, then you probably inhabit the cerebral landscape that is the overthinker, maybe casual or chronic. I prepared some tips that might help you deal with your overthinkingness (if there's such a word):

1. Stop waiting for perfection (perfect timing, perfect conditions) before you do what you know you should have done long ago. Being ambitious is great but aiming for perfection is unrealistic, impractical and debilitating. Aim for constant improvement and consciously and methodically work towards positive change where you need it most.
   
   
2. Don’t assume. Don’t act on hunches, act on facts. And if you want facts, don't be afraid to ask.
   
   
3. Be more active; do stuff. Get out of the theory and into the practical. Do at least one thing each day every day that will get you closer to where you want to be. Even if it scares you. Especially if it scares you. To steal someone else’s book title, “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway Because It Makes You Feel Better.” Don’t let fear hijack your potential or run your life (into the ground).
   
   
4. Ask yourself the right type of questions. Ask questions which will put you (mentally) in a positive, practical, productive and solution-focused head space. Acknowledge the problem but be all about the solution. Eventually you'll consciously find the good.
   
   
5. Have a sounding board (coach, friend, mentor, relative). Someone who will provide you with relevant, meaningful, specific, unemotional feedback – you can’t be objective about you. Make sure it’s someone who will tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.
   
   
6. In order to consistently and consciously move from mediocre to awesome, create a plan and totally commit to it. Don’t give yourself an escape clause. Identify and commit to your non-negotiable behavior.
   
   
7. Stop rationalising, justifying and explaining what you’re not doing. Try honesty, it’s quite effective. Not to mention liberating.
   
   
8. Keep a success diary (wanky name but great concept). With emphasis on success. Journaling your thoughts, decisions, behaviours and results is a great way to keep perspective, stay focused and motivated and to de-emotionalize the change process. It’s also a good way for you to learn what works for you.
   
   
9. Get out of your thoughts. The mind can be an exhausting place and sometimes we need a holiday from it. If you struggle with this concept, start by losing yourself in some of your favourite music (see, there's music in this blog!).
   
   
10. With all the thoughts travelling around in your head, some of them should be "evicted", while others are stuck and are too scared to come out. See your brain’s thoughts as one massive apartment. Let’s look at the level 2 of your apartment. As you walk down the corridor, you hear the old crazy woman behind room 22 saying, “you should have done it this way stupid!” Further down is the chatterbox in room 28 who always has her door open and jumps out and distracts you, just as you’re trying to get somewhere. At the end of the corridor is Mr Gotnothingbettertodo who without fail stops you dead in your tracks and says, “if you only saw how silly you looked you’ve never do that again!”. Think of those trouble-making tenants as those thoughts that interrupt your driving forces and freeze you with guilt, anxiety and reasons to keep us still. These tenants are really easy to spot, haven’t paid rent in years, are up to no good and are causing trouble to all the other harmless tenants. I tell you, these tenants must be evicted immediately!

A guy named Eckhart Tolle once said that we can find a very quiet, relaxing and a beautiful space beyond our thoughts; a place where peace, calm, joy and freedom live. This is something that is needed to be worked on but with practice you’ll be able to do it almost anywhere at any time. We don’t know how hard it is to stop thinking until we try. And the irony is that moving beyond our thoughts is not really about trying but about letting go. Of the chaos.

Your apartment can always make room for new, inspirational tenants. Make this apartment block your own – bring it back to life, create activities for others, put in a groovy carpet, bring in leafy plants, put in a bar upstairs with 24/7 feel good music (next to the spa and indoor pool) – and even renovate a complete level and turn it into a brain haven where your tenants can go to put their feet up and recuperate. It’s your apartment block anyway. The possibilities are endless.

Dedicated to asldkfjsldjkldsjflhehe.